we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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