If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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