I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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