This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Are we still banned from the library?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize