I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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