I got chris browned last night
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize