So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize