I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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