Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
