Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library