I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
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I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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