My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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