Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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