He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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