GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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