No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
