discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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