the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
