Taylor Swift is so right about you.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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