she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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