sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
