I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
