You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
