Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
