oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
