i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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