I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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