idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
