And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
