I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
