don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
