No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
