You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
