At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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