Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize