Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
