New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
