I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
