No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
