Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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