so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His hands were made for my vagina.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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