drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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