if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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