yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can you bring me the toilet please
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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