i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize