He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
