you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Randomize
