Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
