yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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