escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
