you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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