What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
