this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i think im in europe. pls send help
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
