alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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