do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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