And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
