i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
