you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
