I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
