you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you mean i was at the winter classic?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
