Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize