Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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