She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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