I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
