she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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