Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
