I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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