Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
